05 October 2011

Insecure Writer's Support Group

Hosted by Alex J. Cavanaugh  Me Insecure?  Utterly Ridiculous!...Er, Uhhm,  Why?  Should I Be? 

Ha!  Welcome to the ongoing battle, friends.  Pull up a chair, sip a mocha latte, and take a load off.  This may ramble on awhile...

You see, generally, I'm a fairly confident person.  Once inspiration takes hold of me, once I've examined the possible outcomes (redundantly, even), once familiar with what it is, exactly, that I endeavor to do, I'm off!  When I've set my mind to something, it's rare that I fail to accomplish.  I believe that I can achieve, acquire, produce, or learn, and that, in essence, is what confidence is.  Right?

The question, 'Why are you here then, Nadja?' may be on the tip of your tongue as you think kindly to yourself..., 'Oh, dear thing!  She's in the wrong group and doesn't know it.' 

In short, I'm here because while that confidence is ultimately the driving force behind my move to action, there's a battle raging inside my mind as two forces collide in my thoughts.  Who is my shadowy nemesis? 


That ancient foe we sometimes call self-doubt.  He's a bad one; he is!  Creeping around the plans and goals as they take shape in my mind, whispering the sweet-nothings of incompetence and failure into my ears, he seeks to cripple and destroy with his most powerful weapon. 


My husband would gladly seek, with murderous intent, those things which would steal my confidence - (Thank goodness they're not real, eh?  Heh-heh.)  My sons build me up every day.  "You're the best! - I love you, Eezma! - You can do it!"  (Sweet guys, right? And, yes....my boys sometimes call me Eezma... Okay, Okay...don't get too excited.  They probably want me to pick up a friend across town or shop with them for a new video game...lol)  My sister verbally annihilates those pesky insecurity causing thoughts with naughty-but-oh-so-entertaining humor.  My brother, with steady logic and sure fire precision, surgically removes negativity that tries to gain a foothold.  And the writing community, which has welcomed me, encouraged me, and complimented me - your support makes such a difference. 
Thank you.

It is how we deal with fear that will determine our path.  Will we indulge it's negativity?  Will we freeze at hearing/contemplating the term failure?  Or, will we stop, take a breath, and decide that we'll choose the word delay, or set back, or learning experience instead?  GASP!  We can even laugh it off! (This is, I admit, my preferred method of coping)    

This year has been intense in the realm of security stealing - and security building.  My family and life has seen big changes.  Profound grief, the rallying of siblings, hitting milestones in life's journey, and achieving big goals in my writing career are just a few I'll mention.

Truth is, I have to choose to be secure.  It does not come naturally.  I'm fortunate to have brutally honest siblings who keep me laughing at both myself and them as we take on our insecurities.

Now, then.  I've just learned that I'll be reviewed in the coming weeks by a writer whose excerpts have impressed me so!  I can hardly wait..., er, is it I can hardly breathe?  I'm thrilled.  I'm terrified.  I'm ready.  I want to run and hide. 
Bring it on.  BANG.  POW.  BOOM.  WHOOP.  (For DD#1)          
~ Nadja


  1. I try to power through insecurity. Sometimes it just gets the better of me.

  2. I'd refer you to my team of specialists...but I'm feeling insecure about whether they'd have enough left over for my 'issues'...Ha! ~ Nadja

  3. If I could "like" a comment, it would definitely be this one.

  4. I'll be making my rounds for the Rule of Three today...Glad to see you've got a post up! I just posted mine. ~ Nadja

  5. Insecurity is hard to overcome sometimes, but I think you are the type of strong person who can do it. I believe you are strong enough to withstand it.

  6. I like how you said you have to CHOOSE to be secure. Too often we forget our attitude is a choice. Thank you for the reminder!

  7. Just got to this today (was busy yesterday), but again our minds seem on the same wavelength. At the end of my long, rambling ROW80 post, I had a little bout of insecurity as well, thinking: "There are so many people out there writing... how am I ever going to be heard."

    The big step for me, right now, is to focus on the fact that I WANT to be heard. That's a step in the right direction.

  8. Hi Nadja.. Sorry I'm late! Yesterday was insane. I love this post! And I love that you say you CHOOse to be secure and not let fear take over :). Fear is constant, it's our choices that define us.

  9. Security is a choice? I'll have to work on that...

  10. u should start a group called "Secure writer's support group"! lol


    "Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do."

    -Steve Jobs

  11. Heh heh...we're on that same wavelength again...At least this time it's not a painful wavelength.

    Thanks. And yes, I do think that we choose to be secure to a certain extent. I could allow all sorts of insecurities to dictate my feelings and actions, but instead, I choose to push them aside in favor of doing things I love and taking that chance. I guess in the end I figure, 'What the heck?! The worst thing that can happen is a bit of embarassment...it won't be the first time, and it certainly won't be the last. Plus it will make great stories for my grandkids when they're older. My grandparents did the most amazing things! They were gutsy. I admire that. Some of the debacles I heard about....well, let's just say I have very curly hair. Ha!

    Have a great week, everyone! ~ Nadja