12 October 2011

Rule Of Three Blogfest ~ Part II

REN3  Welcome Back!  It's Time For The Second Scene In Our Ongoing Challenge. 

My entry today is 592 words, including the title, and is based on the prompt - One of the characters is revealed to be not who he/she is. 

To read my first scene, Atiya ~ The Gift, click the link.  Today we continue with part two.

Abd-Al-Aziz ~ Servant Of The Powerful

A rider approaches on the Villein Road,” the skinny boy announced, breathless from running.
Very well, nephew,” Baqir acknowledged, returning his attention to the man seated across from him. “I cannot explain what delays Asim and Atiya's return.”
Abd-Al-Aziz raised his hand.
Three years we have waited. What, then, is another day?”
Commendable,” Baqir flattered. “Atiya is young and well-raised. She is worth every Dolmya you offer, even more. You will be pleased.”
Ah, but remember, Baqir. It is not I who must be pleased.”
Abd-Al-Aziz had searched a lifetime, a drop in the ocean of time his lord had waited, yearned. The man before him must remain ignorant awhile longer.
This Emir you serve, will I meet him? My brothers want assurance of Atiya's being well provided for.”
Does the steep price we offer not speak for itself?”
Abd-Al-Aziz knew the real motivation behind the question. Greed. The pungent stench of evil surrounded Baqir, and Aziz, for the first time, battled to conceal his disdain and maintain the illusion of a son of Adam.
Confusion erupted outside and a moment later Fareed parted the tent's curtain.
Come quickly! A stranger brings our sister home.”
Abd-Al-Aziz followed, considering the ramifications of Fareed's statement, praying the girl was unharmed. If any other of the Six Tribes – especially the Ghul, Nekretaal, or Efreet had unlocked the significance of The Gift, they would stop at nothing to prevent his lord from laying rightful claim. Grave danger remained until the Oath of Binding was spoken.
What have you done?” Baqir roared his displeasure, raising his hand against his sister at the sight before him. “Only a whore spends the night alone with a man not her husband or relative! The Emir will never have you now; no one will...”
The stranger stopped further sound from escaping his lips, his powerful hand gripped tightly around Baqir's throat. Atiya stared, mute in disbelief, the sting of Baqir's words obvious.
I am he of whom you speak. Do you claim the ability to divine my thoughts, son of Adam?”
Baqir dropped, newly released, gulping the heated desert air greedily.
No,” he coughed. “A thousand apologies! I did not realize...”
Abd-Al-Aziz fell prostrate on the rocky ground, recognizing the one he faithfully served.
Welcome, Honored One,” Aziz greeted, eyes respectfully downcast.
Servant of the Powerful,” the stranger spoke, “give this man his due.”
Aziz arose, tossing two bags of coins before Baqir, knowing that lust for wealth would silence any questioning of the odd events.
Renounce your authority over the girl and receive your heart's desire.”
Yes, Yes! She is yours!” Baqir shrilled, eyes coveting the heavy sacks of coin he clutched.
Abd-Al-Aziz rejoiced as the wedding feast continued into the night. When the bridegroom at last led Atiya into the wedding tent, Aziz stood guard, ensuring the undisturbed consummation of two worlds. Gazing northward in the lavender dawn, Aziz saw the distant Roundeli Mountains, now vibrant against the heavens. The sons of Adam doubted their existence, the days of renown forgotten in the generations since the casting out of the Djinn. Today, they would remember.
Pride swelled in Abd-Al-Aziz, glimpsing the couple's re-emergence. Collective gasps, both in terror and awe swept the clan, the absence of veil revealing what had previously been concealed. Beside her groom, Atiya's eyes glowed otherworldly gold.
It is done,” Lord Sayid proclaimed, hand protectively over his bride.

Abd-Al-Aziz ~ Servant Of The Powerful © Nadja Notariani 2011


  1. Have to watch out for those golden-eyed sirens! The mystery increases with the revelation not decreases. Great entry, Roland

  2. This is going to be a book, right? RIGHT?! This is a great story concept that isn't usually seen. I don't think there are many stories about the Djinn floating about in modern literature. Awesome job! How much more are you writing? Seriously...more, please.

  3. Okay, so I need you to keep writing this after the Ren3 is up. This is such a great read and I would love to read more, and more...and then some more, please?

  4. "Pungent smell of evil" - like that concept. :-)

  5. This WOULD make a wonderful novel. I love the writing style and I dig the golden-eyed man as much as last week. :)

  6. A vivid culture. Fascinating characters.


  7. I add my voice to the other ones, this is a great story and needs to be a novel!

  8. I enjoyed this continuum and look forward to the next one....Djinns always fascinated me and I want to see what happens hereto. Great work.

  9. Having seen your comment over at my place I came and read your two 'Rule of Three' posts. I loved them! My favourite phrase was 'Coolness kissed her tongue...' in the Atiya piece. Just sounds delicious! I absolutely think this could be part of a longer piece...I want to know about how she felt growing up, what happened the three years Atiya and her brother were away and what happened and was said that night on the way home...I want to know the latter especially!

    In terms of NaNo I think you prepare how you want to prepare. Some people plot and plan (I am trying to do this....am distracting myself with research at the moment though!) and others just wing it! I am just trying to get myself in a position where I can simply write as with a daily word count of 1667 words there will be no time for research etc. If it suits your plans then I think go for it! Can only be a good experience to try and get so many words down.

    I hope you give it a go...me and Lena are setting up a support group and you would be very welcome!

  10. Thank you so much, Em, for taking the time to read. I was peeking around at NaNo's web site, and I cannot use this piece, though. You can't have anything written prior to starting NaNo. Sigh. But I do have another fabulous idea sitting alongside my NEWLY FINISHED TODAY Her Dark Baron...Woot! It even had a notebook already titled. Maybe I'll use that.

    Thank you everyone for such wonderful encouragement for this idea! I'm definitely going to turn this into a novel, as I've been wanting to write about the Djinn for some time. I've done some fairly extensive research about the djinn and would love to use it all in the novel! Maybe that will be my first project of the new year!? Who knows.

    I'm off to read some of your entries. :)

  11. Also, I had some comments in my email that are now not showing on my blog. If I have not visited back, it's because your comment has gone missing. I will be working through the linky-list! :( (Hates when things malfunction...)

  12. Well told, Nadja. There is so much packed into these words, and so elegantly done.

  13. Interesting. I'm curious to see what happens. :-)

  14. Oh, intriguing! I love the mention of her eyes. :)

  15. Ooh, now I'm really intrigued. Hope she's okay :-) Love the idea of using djinn!

  16. I've always been intrigued by the legend and lore both within Judaism and Islam concerning the djinn. I'm glad it's intriguing everyone else, too! Ha!

  17. Spiffy dialogue, cool imagery. Like.

  18. Well, this Emir is mysterious, but Atiya has got to be better off away from Baqir. I enjoyed reading!

  19. thank you for sharing this tale. It is a rich story awash in capturing phrases...