05 October 2011

Rule Of Three Blog Fest - First Prompt

Rule Of Three Blog Fest -Click Here To Visit The List Of Participants And Begin Reading... 
REN3  Can you believe it's time for our first character perspectives to be posted?  This first week, I introduce Atiya.  I used the prompt 'Someone might fall in love', as well as, 'Impending misfortune'.   Hope you enjoy!

Scene 1 ~ Atiya, The Gift

Our brother, Baqir, thinks only of increasing his wealth,” Atiya answered, passing the water skin to Asim.
Atiya, what can we do? Baqir is the eldest; his word is law. Besides, Abd-Al-Aziz will make a fine husband. You will want for nothing, and your days of tending goats will be over forever,” her twin brother replied, shrugging his shoulders as he poked his staff under a rock, checking for snake or scorpion.
A welcome surprise after seven sons, Atiya's name meant gift.  A smile skittered across her mouth as she contemplated the irony, for Baqir now offered her to Abd-Al-Aziz as if she were...
Let's cut over the old mines; we can arrive home a day early if we cross at Heriot's Pass instead of skirting the edges of the Gauche Foothills,” Asim tempted, interrupting her thoughts.
Atiya stopped in shock, the dry, still heat of the rocky, Schiavona Desert pressing on her from all sides.
Baqir warned us to stay away from the mines!”
Ignoring her protests, Asim began his ascent toward the abandoned quarry. Glancing over his shoulder, dark eyes alive with mischief, Asim's rich laughter echoed off the surrounding outcrops.
You're as sure footed as a mountain goat, Atiya. Come on!  It'll mean an extra day at home before we return to the flocks.
It'll be your skin if Baqir finds out,” she grinned, following behind.
* * *
I'm afraid! This isn't right.”
Take my hand, sister.”
He reached for her.
Asim!” she screamed, her entreaty finding no ear.
Her brother's body tumbled, battered by huge stones in the sliding rock. Silence settled, Asim's body now far below. Heedless of the bruising as she scrambled down the shifting precipice, Atiya gained her brother, his eyes unseeing, lifeless. Her sobs, keening and mournful, poured into the empty sky, her tears absorbed into the arid earth without a trace. Huddled beside Asim, delusional with dehydration, Atiya mustered the last of her waning strength and attempted to free the buried water skin, failing again.
I will lie down and die beside my brother.
The morbid thought no longer frightened her. Throat burning with thirst, face swelling under the searing glare of sun, Atiya succumbed to the pounding in her head and closed her eyes.
Vague awareness of gentle swaying and a shadowy form swirled on the edges of her consciousness.
Drink,” a voice commanded.
Coolness kissed her tongue as water trickled down her parched throat. Protected under a warm blanket through the cold night, Atiya roused again and again as the voice urged her to drink.
The first rays of morning sunshine illuminated the tall, white-robed figure as she slowly wakened.
Can you sit up?”
The voice's deep timbre drew her eyes to full lips on the tanned face and startling golden eyes as she nodded.
Had an angel carried her to the third heaven?
Strong arms aided, robe sleeves falling back to reveal tattooed writing upon bronzed forearms.
What is that?” she rasped hoarsely.
A promise. It claims a treasured gift awaits me in the Schiavona," he revealed.  "But enough of me. What is your name, daughter of the desert?”
Atiya shivered at the coincidence.
I am called Atiya,” her voice trembled.
The stranger's amber eyes grew luminescent, his response a recitation of foreign verse.
For ages have I sought you, Habiba, beloved,” he murmured.
Atiya stared, captivated in the glow of his golden gaze.
* * *
Atiya ~ The Gift © Nadja Notariani 2011

30 comments:

  1. In strange realms, names are Power. Perhaps our heroine should have been more careful with hers ... or not. Old Golden Eyes saved her ... but for what fate? Great first entry, Roland

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  2. Nice! I love the various plays on "gift," and the romantic stranger. I was totally smiling at the end. I wish Asim didn't die though!!

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  3. Thank you, Roland and Colleen. You've both written such great first installments that I'm smiling from ear to ear at your kind words. ~ Nadja

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  4. Although I'm not participating in this particular blogfest, I really enjoyed this post and was loving the dazzling rescuer who appeared.

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  5. So it's a children's story? Just teasing.

    Quite some suspense with the loss of her brother, but being whisked away with this stranger. This next week is getting longer with each installment I read. So much anticipation.

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  6. Hi Nadja. I'm here from Rachael's campaigner blog, and am now your newest follower, so:

    Nice to meet you!

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  7. I enjoyed this well written tale and wonder if finding the stranger is good or bad...

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  8. Interesting opening. :-) I'm curious to see what happens next.

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  9. I want to know what happens next! Great piece.

    Thanks for coming by my entry. :)

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  10. You packed a lot into the first installment - nice job :-)

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  11. Thank you, everyone!

    And Reka...Maybe he's good, maybe he's not so good.... ~ Nadja

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  12. This is a note to say that I’ve been by to read your entry. As one of the judges, I don’t want to make any specific comments that could betray my judgement — keeps you guys in suspense for longer! :) Suffice it to say that I’m truly enjoying all the different and creative takes on Renaissance and the Rule of 3!

    J.C.

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  13. Wow.. Great job with this! :). I'm very curious to know what happens next!

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  14. Great beginning. I like not knowing for sure if the one with golden eyes is good or bad. There is a flavor of romance with no guarantee. Good way to get the reader to want more. :)

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  15. Ooh, golden eyes? I love this beginning! Is her brother really died? I can't wait for next week's entry!

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  16. Ooh, please tell me that's Abd-Al-Aziz! Love the way you used the word roused in there, a sort of foreshadowing perhaps?

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  17. Thank you - Lisa, May-Day, & Writing Nut! It makes me smile that you all are enjoying my story.

    Deniz....;} I can't say anything. I want to sooooo badly. But I can't. ~ Nadja

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  18. Very well written, Nadja! No wonder you're a semi-finalist in the Judge & Jury Blogfest. Congrats!

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  19. Oooh. What woman isn't a sucker for being saved by a mysterious golden stranger?

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  20. Oh! Gwen! Thanks for letting me know! How exciting.

    Barbara ~ I know, right? Ha!

    ~ Nadja

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  22. I am tingling with anticipation! Golden eyes and bronzed skin? Sold. Tattooed arms? I'll take 2 please. It matters little good or bad. As long as bad means naughty.... Now, write more if you please!
    ~Mina

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  23. Mmm, saved by a mysterious stranger :) Love it. I anticipate a steamy romance next week, can't wait.
    I like how you put Bedouin-like people in the desert of Renaissance, makes sense :D

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  24. Am I the only guy reading this post? Ah, no, thankfully Roland and Joshua have been here. Feeling outnumbered. In a good way.

    Great start!

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  25. A beautifully sad beginning
    Much to look forward to

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  26. Ha! Mina - I knew you'd love Golden Eyes...(It seems that the crowd has named my MC thus...lol) I'm working on tomorrow's piece :)

    Daina - I just love a romance...but this may end up as a slightly different flare than my other pieces.

    Kurt - Heh heh...I suppose more women will like a golden-eyed stranger/savior. Thanks for reading along with the other brave manly souls...Ha!

    Ladysknight - Thanks! This is lovely...'beautifully sad'.

    ~ Nadja

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  27. Looking forward to the next installment.

    Stuart
    co-host #REN3
    Tale Spinning

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  28. Hi, Stuart. I just linked back to your blog - Loved that interpretive post. ~ Nadja

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  29. oh boy - golden is good, I hope! Will be back for more!

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  30. Wow, there's some interesting stuff going on here. I was sad that you killed off the brother so quickly, but the cliffhanger at the end was fascinating! Thanks for coming to Renaissance with us.

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